What Is the Grieving Process? A Complete Guide

Because of the devastating impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic, more people are grieving at the same time than ever before.

But what is the grieving process, and how do you know if you’re moving through it in a healthy and supported way?

Read on to learn the five stages of grief and how to cope with grieving and loss.

What Is the Grieving Process?

This model of the grieving process was developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Her model is the most widely accepted model, and it includes five stages of the grieving process.

Not everyone will go through all of the stages and not in the same order, but it is likely that anyone who experiences a loss will go through at least some of these stages at some point.

Denial

The first stage of grief is denial. You may feel numb or purposeless. You may also be in disbelief that the loss happened.

In this stage, your body is simply trying to cope with the overwhelming feelings that come with the loss you’ve just experienced. Going through this stage allows you to gather the strength to experience the rest of the stages.

Anger

It is very common to have anger be the first feeling you experience after a loss. Humans crave meaning in all things, and it can feel helpful to have someone or something to blame for the loss you’ve just experienced.

Know that like all the other stages, this stage is temporary, and you will find that your anger is masking other feelings about the loss, such as hurt or pain.

Bargaining

This stage of the grieving process is often characterized by feelings of helplessness or regret. To regain a sense of control over your situation, you may think back to choices you’ve made in the past and wish that you made a different choice. You may appeal to a higher power and offer something in exchange for the return of your loved one.

While these feelings are valid, know that the loss you experienced is not your fault.

Depression

Whereas the previous stages are externally focused, depression is a more internally focused part of the grieving process. You may withdraw from your loved ones or stop doing the things that bring you joy. You might be uncertain about whether you want to continue on, or you might be questioning the meaning of life.

Acceptance

Acceptance is the final stage of grief, where you begin to move through your life while accepting the truth of the loss you’ve experienced. While you may not feel “okay,” you accept the reality of the situation and start the hard work of healing.

How to Cope

Grieving is hard, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone. Finding a healthy grieving program or support system can help you to get through the hardest parts.

While it won’t make your grief go away, leaning into the support of your community can help you to move through your grief surrounded by love and caring.

Move Through Your Grief

Use the information above to empower you to move through your grieving process more intentionally. If you have a loved one that asks, “What is the grieving process?” you’ll have the information you need to support them as well.

Looking for more tools on how to connect with your inner life? Check out our other articles in our Practice Mindfulness section.